Before you sit down
Pick a time when neither of you is under pressure. Not between errands. Not as a pre-dinner conversation starter. The results are worth real attention, and real attention requires actual space.
One practical note
Read your results separately first, before you discuss them together. Coming in with your own initial reaction means the conversation is two perspectives meeting, not one person reacting to the other.
Start with what you recognize
Before going to the gaps or differences, spend a few minutes on what lands as true. Not just the things you expected, the things that feel accurate even if you've never put them into words.
This matters because it establishes shared reality before you get to the harder stuff. It's easier to engage with a difference when you both already trust the framework.
Approach differences as data, not verdicts
A gap in how you each answered isn't a judgment. It's a description. Two people can have opposite orientations on something and still work beautifully together, what makes the difference is whether they understand each other's orientation, or whether it stays invisible.
When you hit a difference: get curious before you get defensive. "I hadn't realized I leaned that way" is a more useful response than "I don't think that's really true."
The couples who work through differences well aren't the ones without them. They're the ones who can see the difference clearly and work with it instead of around it.
Pick two or three things to actually do
The most useful thing you can do at the end of a results conversation is identify a small number of specific things to carry forward. Not a complete overhaul. Just two or three concrete threads.
It might be a conversation you want to have. A topic from the expectations section you want to revisit. A pattern from the communication results you want to watch for. Specificity is what turns insight into change.
You can always come back
You don't have to work through everything in one sitting. The results are yours to revisit at any time. Some things will land differently after a week. Some things you'll want to come back to after a specific moment in your relationship surfaces them.
The exercises are designed to be the start of something, not a complete picture of it.